Today marks one week until I’m officially off maternity leave and returning to my office job. And I literally can’t. (Yes, I’m using that phrase, because in this case, it’s the best description.) It’s a transition that’s causing me loads of anxiety and bouts of spontaneous tears (helloooo hormones). So, during the rare occasions that I actually get Connor down for a nap, I’m going to attempt to blog a little about this past year because it’s been an experience I never want to forget.
Photo by The Girl Tyler
During my pregnancy, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to blog about it—it’s not necessarily photography related. But now, so many of my brides have been sharing the good news of being pregnant too! Plus, documenting life and all the memories along the way is exactly why I love photography…so of course it’s related!
With that said, so begins the first of my journey to baby mama series—just kidding, I’ll try to think of a more appropriate name, maybe. 🙂
This past year has been one of the quickest of my life…when I think back to a year ago, it honestly feels like just yesterday. Around this time last year, I received a promotion at my other job and was planning a spa day to celebrate. Calvin met me in Williamsburg afterwards, so we could make a weekend of it. A year later, I happened to end up at the spa again (some girls have purses and shoes—I have my spa!), but this time Calvin stayed back to care for our baby boy. So much has changed, but it’s without a doubt for the better, in every single way. Yes, dirty diapers, meltdowns, and all…
Last year on February 13 verrrrry early in the morning (the absolute soonest I could reliably take a test, because I am -or was- the most impatient person in the world) I found out I was expecting. I was giddy, I don’t get giddy. I knew I wanted a baby, but I didn’t realize how much until that moment.
I started writing a little bit in my spare time—hormones clearly already kicking in, because I was feeling MUCH more emotional than I usually am—and writing it down was a whole new level for me. 🙂 I couldn’t bore you all with all that my hormones drug on about, but I thought this part was perfect and has already proven to be so true:
I didn’t grow up dreaming of being a mom, I haven’t been itching to bring a baby into this world. I couldn’t picture taking care of myself and another living human being….I still fear all the ways that I’ll mess up and how I’ll be able to do it all. But knowing I’ll have your dad by my side, I know we’ll be able to do it. I know when times get tough, when I’m struggling to get everything done, when I’m mad at myself for not being a perfect mom….your dad will be there doing everything he can to help and be supportive. When I’m being impatient and too stressed out to give you the attention that you deserve, I know you’ll be able to count on your dad to give you a warm hug and a listening ear.
Before I go typing a novel (too late, I know), I’ll stop here and continue next Monday (Baby Mama Monday—that works, right?! Haha I’ll work on that title.) with a little about my first trimester.
For now, more pictures of me and my baby daddy 🙂
Engagement and Wedding Photos by Carrie Holbo Photography
Photo by Shannon Forbes Photography